Instant Meaning! Just Add Children!
The following is the transcript of my troop deployment (i.e. ending rant) from episode 84 of my news podcast The Mind Killer. If you like it, please consider subscribing to the podcast
I have a friend, let’s call him E. Brodski - no no, that’s too obvious. Let’s call him Eneasz B. He’s constantly having crises of meaning in his life. And it’s not just him! I keep reading a lot about how the decline of religion has left a lot of people starving for meaning in their lives. What is the purpose of life? What is the point of it all? Why even keep going?
You know who never thinks about that sort of thing? Parents. We have no trouble finding meaning in our lives, because we have little meaning machines constantly underfoot. Now, I’ve never personally needed a lot of meaning in my life. I’ve been fine just being a hedonist. And yet! Even I feel a real sense of purpose having a child, and did since basically minute one. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that our society-wide crisis of meaning is getting worse at the same time the number of children we’re having is getting lower.
I’m not one of those people who thinks everyone should have children. I’m not a pronatalist. I recognize that children often create more problems than they solve. If you don’t think children are for you, don’t have children! But if your main problem in life is that you lack a sense of meaning or purpose, maybe think about it.
The other thing that children do is get you off the hedonic treadmill. People who experience large gains all at once get used to them pretty quickly and revert to their baseline level of happiness. To really experience sustained improvements in your happiness, it takes incremental improvements over time. And that’s exactly what children do! They start out basically incapable of doing anything and requiring lots of work to maintain. Then the gradually develop new capabilities which allow them to do things for themselves. Then eventually they develop enough so that they can help you with things! They’re like well designed video game that lets you gradually automate the tedious tasks, but presents you with new challenges as you level up.
Anyway, like a said, I’m not a pronatalist. I don’t want people to think they should have children no matter what. But I think people should think twice before saying children aren’t for them, especially if they are lacking a sense of meaning or purpose.