STFU Teachers
If your students aren't willing to do the work, trying looking in the mirror
The following is the transcript of my closing editorial from episode 149 of my news podcast The Mind Killer. If you like it, please consider subscribing to the podcast
It’s basically common knowledge at this point that The Kids These Days are terrible students. Every week there’s a new essay by a teacher claiming that kids are showing up to class without knowing anything or kids not willing to do the work they assign. By some reports, kids are graduating with A’s in math, getting into prestigious schools, and not even being able to do elementary school arithmetic. The latest is a viral Bluesky rant that kids aren’t even reading the syllabus, following guidelines, engaging with material, or meeting deadlines. All the usual suspects are, of course, blaming smartphones, because smartphones are an easy target. In a few years, you’ll be reading the exact same takes but it will be blaming AI instead.
The tell comes in the next skeet. Bleet? Blueberry? Whatever they call them now. The nonbinary professor says “We keep adjusting our goalposts, trying to meet students where they’re at.” Well, hey, genius, I can’t imagine why the kids aren’t willing to do the work you keep assigning if you keep “adjusting your goalposts.”
I was a great student. I got mostly A’s in high school and college. But I always did the minimum amount of work possible. I did my homework in class. I never studied. I didn’t read the assigned books. You know why? Because it’s boring, and it wasn’t necessary for good grades. The standards were low enough that I could get good grades without putting in much work, so I didn’t put in much work.
Then I went to law school, and you can’t get away with that shit in law school. I didn’t even try, because my professors made it clear in class that we were expected to do the assigned reading, and we wouldn’t be able to follow if we didn’t. So I did the assigned reading. My first semester, I didn’t study enough for my criminal law final and got a C-. The next semester, I studied more and got much better grades.
If Kids Today aren’t willing to do schoolwork, it’s because you lowered the standards so much that they don’t need to. If kids aren’t willing to do the reading or engage with the material, why are you passing them? Just give any kid an F who doesn’t learn the subject matter. I guarantee you that you’ll see improvement.
Of course, the real solution is to stop making school so fucking boring and lame. Every educator in the country should be required to take a few classes on scienceisweird.com to learn how to teach in a way that makes kids actually want to learn. Kids love learning! They want to know things! They are naturally curious about the world! If you think they don’t, show a 4yo a few episodes of Numberblocks. It’s an amazing show that gives each number a personality and shows how different numbers interact with each other. That kid will know more math watching a few hours of Numberblocks than they will by spending six months in preschool. Want kids to read? Assign them books that don’t suck. It’s not a secret what books kids like. Just give them those books! Stop teaching them that reading is something you force yourself to do for “education.”
But if you’re not willing to do that, the least you can do is stop complaining that kids are only willing to put in the minimum amount to get good grades. Throughout history kids have always been putting in the minimum amount to get good grades. The only new thing is that you, the teachers, are afraid to give them anything less than an A, let alone fail them. So shut the fuck up.