Polyamorous people tend to think about relationships a lot. I'm no exception. What I want to talk about today is the transactional model of relationships. A transactional relationship is a relationship where both (or all) parties are in it for themselves, and where partners do things for each other with the expectation of reciprocation. Almost all relationships start here. People tend to date a person because of what they get out of it. Doing otherwise would actually be kind of weird. Genuine concern for a partner's well-being (some might call it "love") is something that generally grows as the relationship progresses. But some relationships never get past the transactional stage. I suspect that many, if not the majority, of relationships never do. I've fallen victim to this myself. There are times when I've bought something for Gina, or done the dishes, or done her some other sort of favor, and expected something in return. But there's a deeper foundation that some relationships reach, where people do things for each other just to make the other person happy for altruistic* reasons. I truly believe that some relationships transcend selfishness, and reach a place where both partners are happy in large part because the other partner is happy.
The Transactional Model of Relationships
The Transactional Model of Relationships
The Transactional Model of Relationships
Polyamorous people tend to think about relationships a lot. I'm no exception. What I want to talk about today is the transactional model of relationships. A transactional relationship is a relationship where both (or all) parties are in it for themselves, and where partners do things for each other with the expectation of reciprocation. Almost all relationships start here. People tend to date a person because of what they get out of it. Doing otherwise would actually be kind of weird. Genuine concern for a partner's well-being (some might call it "love") is something that generally grows as the relationship progresses. But some relationships never get past the transactional stage. I suspect that many, if not the majority, of relationships never do. I've fallen victim to this myself. There are times when I've bought something for Gina, or done the dishes, or done her some other sort of favor, and expected something in return. But there's a deeper foundation that some relationships reach, where people do things for each other just to make the other person happy for altruistic* reasons. I truly believe that some relationships transcend selfishness, and reach a place where both partners are happy in large part because the other partner is happy.